"Lets all go hand in hand..."
So, I didn't get Tommy Lee's press :0( but to be fair I think its a blessing in disguise as, well quite frankly, the solo album is utter shite. It would have been huge amounts of fun - hanging out with Tommy Lee and feeling kinda important but he was reluctant to come over and promote the album release in the UK and so without that, and the guaranteed negative album reviews that only an album as shit as this would receive - I'm better outta there!
Shame though - quite fancied a bit of that......*ahem*
Anyway, since I last wrote, I've moved out of my flat and into Evan's, seen The Misfits, been to Belfast and back and acquired a kitten!!!!!! And let me tell you - the kitten fucking rules. So small, so cute, sooooo cat like.
LOOK!!
Has anything ever been so cute before? I doubt it.
Its been a week of two exceptionally embarrassing incidents that even now - when I think about them I blush. I'm blushing now.
1) I took last Friday off to pack up my flat into boxes and get ready to move. I had a shower and ambled into the kitchen naked except for a towel on my head to make a coffee. I really like wandering around naked. Its just comfortable. And as I was on my own I didn't think anything of it. Anyway standing gazing out the window into the distance waiting for the kettle to boil when suddenly out of absolutely nowhere my landlord (a bit of ladies man as it is) popped up on the otherside of the window. He'd come round to cut back the overgrown bush that was taking over the kitchen window. Cue hilarious overgrown bush joke... For a split second I froze and just stood there - our eyes locked in horror. I then ducked and without thinking and acting completely on impulse I ran out the door which is opposite the window and into my bedroom without putting the towel around my body and the only thing I could hear as I ran out, showing my pale white ass wobbling around was: "oops sorry!!!"
I could have died.
2) Flying to Belfast - with the photographer Scarlet Page (Jimmy Page's daughter) and her assistant who I had never met before to do a photo session with my new band The Answer. We check in and everything is fine and continue to the x-ray and search bit. Scarlet goes through, doesn't beep, her bags are fine. Her assistant goes through, beeps cos of her body jewelry but her bags are fine and the two of them wait for me to go through. My bags go on the x-ray thing and I walk through the metal detector and nothing beeps. I go to pick my bags up but they say: "We've found some items in your bag that we cannot allow on the plane." He pulls outs a load of nails from the side pocket that Evan had so sweetly unscrewed from my book shelves and gave me a disapproving look. I explained that I had recently moved and forgot they were there. He seemed to believe me and said: "Ok well we'll have to take them out and search your bag again." He then begins to unzip the main part of my bag and its at that point I remembered that snuggled up inside on top of my red hoodie was my little cuddly yellow bear; Cuddles. He pulled him out and swabbed him in case I had stored anything in him and put him in a tray to be x-rayed.
This little yellow bear - perpetual grin and all - going through on a conveyer belt on his own whilst I stand there mortified and with Scarlet and Gem not knowing me well enough to laugh, stood aghast. You kinda have to know what Cuddles looks like to get the real humour in this. I've had him for 28 years and I still laugh at him. THATS how funny he looks.
So humiliating.
Shame though - quite fancied a bit of that......*ahem*
Anyway, since I last wrote, I've moved out of my flat and into Evan's, seen The Misfits, been to Belfast and back and acquired a kitten!!!!!! And let me tell you - the kitten fucking rules. So small, so cute, sooooo cat like.
LOOK!!
Has anything ever been so cute before? I doubt it.
Its been a week of two exceptionally embarrassing incidents that even now - when I think about them I blush. I'm blushing now.
1) I took last Friday off to pack up my flat into boxes and get ready to move. I had a shower and ambled into the kitchen naked except for a towel on my head to make a coffee. I really like wandering around naked. Its just comfortable. And as I was on my own I didn't think anything of it. Anyway standing gazing out the window into the distance waiting for the kettle to boil when suddenly out of absolutely nowhere my landlord (a bit of ladies man as it is) popped up on the otherside of the window. He'd come round to cut back the overgrown bush that was taking over the kitchen window. Cue hilarious overgrown bush joke... For a split second I froze and just stood there - our eyes locked in horror. I then ducked and without thinking and acting completely on impulse I ran out the door which is opposite the window and into my bedroom without putting the towel around my body and the only thing I could hear as I ran out, showing my pale white ass wobbling around was: "oops sorry!!!"
I could have died.
2) Flying to Belfast - with the photographer Scarlet Page (Jimmy Page's daughter) and her assistant who I had never met before to do a photo session with my new band The Answer. We check in and everything is fine and continue to the x-ray and search bit. Scarlet goes through, doesn't beep, her bags are fine. Her assistant goes through, beeps cos of her body jewelry but her bags are fine and the two of them wait for me to go through. My bags go on the x-ray thing and I walk through the metal detector and nothing beeps. I go to pick my bags up but they say: "We've found some items in your bag that we cannot allow on the plane." He pulls outs a load of nails from the side pocket that Evan had so sweetly unscrewed from my book shelves and gave me a disapproving look. I explained that I had recently moved and forgot they were there. He seemed to believe me and said: "Ok well we'll have to take them out and search your bag again." He then begins to unzip the main part of my bag and its at that point I remembered that snuggled up inside on top of my red hoodie was my little cuddly yellow bear; Cuddles. He pulled him out and swabbed him in case I had stored anything in him and put him in a tray to be x-rayed.
This little yellow bear - perpetual grin and all - going through on a conveyer belt on his own whilst I stand there mortified and with Scarlet and Gem not knowing me well enough to laugh, stood aghast. You kinda have to know what Cuddles looks like to get the real humour in this. I've had him for 28 years and I still laugh at him. THATS how funny he looks.
So humiliating.
posted by Fang at 4:52 AM
1 Comments:
Cuddles rules!
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