"fuck you I won't do what you tell me..."
I’m currently suffering from hay-fever.
How gay is that? I’m not a very sympathetic person when it comes to allergies – which I know is unfair and not very caring but I just think they’re a really lame thing to suffer from. Those people who are allergic to dust, cats, pollen, the fucking cut grass, spend there time red nosed and sniffly, eyes watering and blotchy-faced. Complaining constantly: “Oh no I can’t sit there as the sun attracts the dust particles and that affects my sinuses and adenoids *sniff sniff* and please can you remove your cat from the world as its fur is itching my skin and making me blotchy. *cough*. Also does your Waldorf Salad have nuts in it? It does, well I can’t have that as my nut allergy is ferocious and any traces of nut will cause my head to swell and spontaneously combust.” Wankers….just get on with it!!!
So as you can imagine it’s with great annoyance that I sit here today plagued by an itchy nose and near constant sneezing. I’ve actually blown my nose so much that I’ve got a little red, dry patch on my left nostril. A scab that will surely hurt tomorrow morning.
I’ve just taken an antihistamine which I got from my work colleague. She took it yesterday to calm down some skin complaint or another and proceeded to fall asleep at her desk dribbling slightly onto her keyboard. So….I look forward to that in about 20 minutes
Today is a bit of a non-event. Yesterday was a bit of a boozy one. We’ve had many birthdays recently at work so we decided to all go out for lunch to celebrate them all together. These work lunches are always debauched affairs. We all like a drink – and can all drink quite a bit but there are a few things that are always guaranteed to happen.
1) We become outrageous in the restaurant and are asked to leave.
2) My boss turns from being quite quiet and polite to lairy, bolshy, and (at times) very funny.
3) I get fired
4) Something inappropriate is said to someone who we should be trying to impress
5) Drink invariably leads to other forms of drugs
6) No one does any work.
All of these things happened yesterday. Plus my work colleagues found out that I have started smoking again (I had quit for 18 months) when I pulled out a Camel Light from my rucksack and sparked up. My boss went crazy saying how disappointed in me he was and how I’d let him down and that it was because of me that he was able to give up (he got hypnotised last October and hasn’t smoked since) blah blah. Then he just wouldn’t let it go. We got back to the office and he decided to prank call me from the other office, putting on an Irish accent and pretending to be Nick O’Teen. This went on for about an hour until I decided to leave for the Reuben gig we had last night.
Eventually, he stopped and decided to terrorise someone else – but safe to say he made me feel like shit for smoking again. So, in retaliation, what did I do? I smoked more…
Mature aren’t I? But for fucks sake, I’m almost 30!!!!
I’m not best pleased with myself though if I’m honest. I was so proud of myself that I had stopped. I had smoked since I was 16 (my first cigarette was when I was 13 – my sister taught me how to do it) but I mean it was aged 16 that I brought my own regularly. I actually wanted to smoke – and set about becoming a smoker. I always thought guys in films who smoke look really cool. I still think they do actually. Johnny Depp is a sexy smoker – but then again he could shit himself and still be sexy. Rober De Niro is also a very sexy smoker. As is Evan…he looks exceptionally sexy when he smokes.
Anyway – going off the point…I wanted to know what an addiction felt like and so set about becoming addicted to smoking. Weird huh! Well I guess I found out. It’s actually very easy to stop smoking – it’s just incredibly difficult to remain stopped.
I did it by reading a book by an ex-smoker Allen Carr. Allen Carr’s ‘Easyway To Stop Smoking’. He is an absolute cock-end but his book really works. So I guess I’ll be returning to the book and re-giving up shortly. Maybe after Glastonbury….
OOOooo I’m going to go and have a cigarette now. If I could just motivate myself to leave this comfy chair…I’ll just rest my head….on that……bit…there….maybe…close…my……eyes….*sniff*…..*sniff*…….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *dribbles on desk*
How gay is that? I’m not a very sympathetic person when it comes to allergies – which I know is unfair and not very caring but I just think they’re a really lame thing to suffer from. Those people who are allergic to dust, cats, pollen, the fucking cut grass, spend there time red nosed and sniffly, eyes watering and blotchy-faced. Complaining constantly: “Oh no I can’t sit there as the sun attracts the dust particles and that affects my sinuses and adenoids *sniff sniff* and please can you remove your cat from the world as its fur is itching my skin and making me blotchy. *cough*. Also does your Waldorf Salad have nuts in it? It does, well I can’t have that as my nut allergy is ferocious and any traces of nut will cause my head to swell and spontaneously combust.” Wankers….just get on with it!!!
So as you can imagine it’s with great annoyance that I sit here today plagued by an itchy nose and near constant sneezing. I’ve actually blown my nose so much that I’ve got a little red, dry patch on my left nostril. A scab that will surely hurt tomorrow morning.
I’ve just taken an antihistamine which I got from my work colleague. She took it yesterday to calm down some skin complaint or another and proceeded to fall asleep at her desk dribbling slightly onto her keyboard. So….I look forward to that in about 20 minutes
Today is a bit of a non-event. Yesterday was a bit of a boozy one. We’ve had many birthdays recently at work so we decided to all go out for lunch to celebrate them all together. These work lunches are always debauched affairs. We all like a drink – and can all drink quite a bit but there are a few things that are always guaranteed to happen.
1) We become outrageous in the restaurant and are asked to leave.
2) My boss turns from being quite quiet and polite to lairy, bolshy, and (at times) very funny.
3) I get fired
4) Something inappropriate is said to someone who we should be trying to impress
5) Drink invariably leads to other forms of drugs
6) No one does any work.
All of these things happened yesterday. Plus my work colleagues found out that I have started smoking again (I had quit for 18 months) when I pulled out a Camel Light from my rucksack and sparked up. My boss went crazy saying how disappointed in me he was and how I’d let him down and that it was because of me that he was able to give up (he got hypnotised last October and hasn’t smoked since) blah blah. Then he just wouldn’t let it go. We got back to the office and he decided to prank call me from the other office, putting on an Irish accent and pretending to be Nick O’Teen. This went on for about an hour until I decided to leave for the Reuben gig we had last night.
Eventually, he stopped and decided to terrorise someone else – but safe to say he made me feel like shit for smoking again. So, in retaliation, what did I do? I smoked more…
Mature aren’t I? But for fucks sake, I’m almost 30!!!!
I’m not best pleased with myself though if I’m honest. I was so proud of myself that I had stopped. I had smoked since I was 16 (my first cigarette was when I was 13 – my sister taught me how to do it) but I mean it was aged 16 that I brought my own regularly. I actually wanted to smoke – and set about becoming a smoker. I always thought guys in films who smoke look really cool. I still think they do actually. Johnny Depp is a sexy smoker – but then again he could shit himself and still be sexy. Rober De Niro is also a very sexy smoker. As is Evan…he looks exceptionally sexy when he smokes.
Anyway – going off the point…I wanted to know what an addiction felt like and so set about becoming addicted to smoking. Weird huh! Well I guess I found out. It’s actually very easy to stop smoking – it’s just incredibly difficult to remain stopped.
I did it by reading a book by an ex-smoker Allen Carr. Allen Carr’s ‘Easyway To Stop Smoking’. He is an absolute cock-end but his book really works. So I guess I’ll be returning to the book and re-giving up shortly. Maybe after Glastonbury….
OOOooo I’m going to go and have a cigarette now. If I could just motivate myself to leave this comfy chair…I’ll just rest my head….on that……bit…there….maybe…close…my……eyes….*sniff*…..*sniff*…….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *dribbles on desk*
posted by Fang at 8:41 AM
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