"Squeeze me, babe, 'till the juice runs down my leg..."

I would have to say I am the most weak willed person EVER! I never have any money and am always having to say no to things because I have no cash. There's a kitty of around the £200 mark that floats between me and Evan throughout the month, depending on who's been paid and who's waiting to be paid. Its completely ridiculous. I set money limits on nights out and frequently go over them...its terrible.
Anyway - we're going out tonight. It's gonna be a good'un for sure. A good old fashioned blow out. Drink, and other stuff to be consumed a plenty. Money a not, but we'll worry about that another time.

See? I'm hopeless.

I have just found out that not only is Lemmy joining in the festivities at the Classic Rock Awards but also Jimmy Page and Gene Simmons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HAVE to meet Jimmy Page. I just HAVE to. I recently went to Belfast with his daughter on a press trip. Whilst waiting for our flight back she asked if I wanted a magazine from WH Smiths so I replied: "I'll have a Q please. What are you getting." "I'm going to get Mojo I think." she said "Its got my daddy on the cover."
I almost fell off my chair. She really looks like her dad too. Man it was weird. Anyway, we agreed to swap magazines for the flight so we could read both and so there I sat, next to Jimmy Page's daughter, reading how Jon 'Bonzo' Bonham died in her house when she was eight.

I must NOT go over to him drunk and say how I know his daughter and how much I love Led Zeppelin and ask if he still dabbles in the occult etc etc.

Note to self - don't act like a complete twat......like usual.

"Like a sheep runs from the herd..."

Another stressful, emotional couple of weeks has rendered me with a near continuous headache for 6 days and an on-off cold that's draining and yet pathetic at the same time. Things are a lot quieter this week which is nice. A well needed chance to slow down and chill out. Work is of course as hectic as ever but is currently contained between the hours of 10 and 6 and not spilling over into my evenings for which I'm very grateful. Although saying that I am going to the Classic Rock Awards on Tuesday evening. Something tells me that Motorhead will be there picking up some Lifetime achievement award or some such thing. I'm a on table with my band The Answer. There's a champagne reception, a 4 course meal and an aftershow. Its also smart dress so I'll have to somehow drag my scruffy arse into some dress or another which I don't own and not only freeze all night but feel uncomfortable and weird. I have an enormous ability to make the smartest of clothes look like something orphan fucking Annie would wear. I ALWAYS spill stuff down my front like a spaz and my hair never stays where it should, my eye make-up falls off my eyes within an hour and travels south down my cheeks and I can't walk in heels so I waddle around like Tootsie. Fabulous I am not! I also have this uncanny knack of getting soo drunk that any inhibition that I may have once had just vanishes, evaporates. I'm bound to say something inappropriate to the wrong person. The Answer are a new band to us and we don't know the label/manager very well yet so cue humilation as I conveniently forget the boundaries set between new working companies and step way over any visible line. How do I know this? I do it all the time. My boss (who is worse than me at this stuff) actually said: "Oh no - they'll see us drunk. Well that will be the end of our working relationship!" God help us.
I will give a full account of my rock celebrity-studded night and if I come anywhere near Lemmy or anyone else in leather that might look like he was once, or indeed is still in a band, I'll take a picture.

So, I'm working on a couple of things for Cunts Corner. A website that's basically a ranting sound board for morally dubious people like myself. Here are a few ideas:

Clowns
Stupid, pointless, big nosed, floppy feeted, paedos who can stick their squeaking novelty bollocks up their cunting arses. Cunts.

People who tell unfunny jokes
Insecure, socially inept, boring conversation killers, who aren't funny no matter how hard they try. The real cunts are those who tell you jokes after saying how much you don't like jokes. What on fucking earth makes you think that you are any different to the rest of the fucking cunts that insist on forcing unfunny, inane bollocks into every conversation, you humourless and obviously slightly sad cunting individual.

Sue Barker and her stylist
Either blatently taking the piss or utterly blind. Either way stop polluting my TV screen with your mis-matching New Look-esque clothing ideas and cunt off. Sue - you can cunt off too for having no fucking clue that you look like a cunt.

Work in progress...

GGGGRRRRRRRRR!

I am soooooooooooo fucking annoyed. I sometimes really don't know why I fucking bother. I spend fucking so much time and effort and emotion into what I do and then some stupid cunt, with one cunting comment undermines absolutely everything I do on a fucking daily basis. AND THEY'RE A COLLEAGUE.
I can't even fucking explain it but I do just feel pretty fucking redundent.
I hate everything about what I'm gonna say as I really detest self-importance I think its really ugly - but my job is quite important DAMMIT! I'M QUITE IMPORTANT! On a small scale obviously. But over the last 2 years I've had various cunts completely knock me down and undermine what I do. I hate it. For some people my job is like their fucking ideal job EVER and believe it to be a significant role within the British alternative music scene. Others don't get it at all and aren't fucking shy in telling me that its bollocks as well. I guess my problem is that I don't know who to agree with.

Oh fuck it - I was gonna rant and rant and rant but now I just can't be fucking bothered. I'm completely over-reacting as well which is kinda embarrassing.

Now I'm a little ashamed.

Bollocks.

I'm gonna go on holiday now.

"Girls who are boys, who like boys to be girls, Who do boys like they’re girls..."

So I moved into my third abode in a month last night. Its a beautiful little flat in West Hampstead which in itself is beautiful too. Although full of young, successful, affluent couples who drink Bloody Mary's and eat Tapas.
I'm sharing this flat with a girl (Jo?) who is renting the other room for the same 6 weeks that I am whilst the two girls who do live there normally swan around Thailand and New Zealand! Bastards. Not too sure how well we'll get on. Not that there's anything really to base that on but its just a feeling I get. She seems a little square and well, boring. Of course I'm basing all of this on the hour I met her last night whilst drunk and the fact that there's a dressing gown with teddy bears on it in the bathroom. I hate dressing gowns with so much passion its un-nerving. But one with bears on it - owned by a girl in her late twenties is unforgivable. Apologies if I'm offending anyone here but urrgggghh they're horrible. They're skanky, stain-strewn, pieces of toweling that always have bits of crusty egg/snot/marmite or something on the sleeves. They always fall open and display the God awful flesh underneath and generally smell. People put them OVER other items of clothing too - like pyjamas. WEAR A JUMPER OR HOODIE OR SOMETHING if you're slouching around. No one loves doing fuck all and staying in your pyjamas on a Sunday more than me but to wrap your cosy self up in a flea-ridden, smeggy, fraying cloth is just minging. They're really unattractive.
*ahem*
Anyway - I think we'll pass like ships in the night as she leaves for work before I've even woken up so it should be quite a nice place to live. Although I do wish I was the one going to Thailand and New Zealand. I've never been to Kiwi land but have gone to Thailand and although I had quite a traumatic time there I did still have fun.
To cut an exceptionally long story short my ex-boyfriend who I was having an on-off cherade of a relationship with was traveling and after months of 'I miss you emails' I decided to go and meet him in Thailand. I'd like to say that it was mainly because I needed a holiday which is why I went out there, but truly the main reason was because I wanted to find out once and for all whether we were going to be together forever or whether we should just call it a day and move on which, for me, would have involved not seeing/speaking to him again.
So, after a day and a half of traveling on three flights, and a ferry I arrive on Koi Phangnan Island on the sunset side to be greeted by an exceptionally brown, and kinda receeding ex-boyfriend. We go straight to the bar which is on the beach and sit on a little rug on the sand drinking a lethal cocktail containing amphetamines from a bucket! Blah blah blah conversation turns round to me and him and I say: "So, what we doing? Are we going to give it another shot and be together forever or split up completely, because this limbo thing ain't working out for me." He replied: "I'm not ready to make that decision - I can't promise that I won't come back to UK let alone settle down." I said: "well we can't be friends then because its too hard." and with that it dawned on me. I had traveled half way round the world to get dumped after being there for 2 hours!!!!!!!!!!
The next few days were hideous. On top of the crippling tension between us I got really sunburnt, scraped the soles of my feet on coral, had been bitten all over, and lost my flip flop in a waterfall and had to climb up a rocky bank with no shoes on which completely killed my feet. As you can imagine it was quite horrible but then, after I suffered the worst bout of 'tummy troubles' ever it all just became funny to me. Like when something is sooooo bad its funny. I had originally intended to fly home from the neighbouring island's airport but decided instead to fuck off early, leave the miserable cunt to it and travel up the country to Bangkok, spend a couple of days there on my own and then fly home. So I did and it was the best time EVER! I had a ball.

So yeah - a mixed time all in all but I'm so glad I went and I've not seen him since AND found the best boyfriend ever - so I guess I was right to go.

"So take the photographs and still frames in your mind..."

Its a sad day today :0(
Million Dead have split up.

When I started this job, Million Dead were one of the first bands I got to work with. I had actually seen them live the year previous I think and loved them so was quite excited when I knew I'd be working with them. When I began - a few months before they released their debut album 'A Song To Ruin' in 2003 - Million Dead were (and still are) a real critic's band - and requests for interviews and promo copies of the album were coming in all the time. To put it bluntly I had no fucking clue what I was doing, I remember feeling really out of my depth.
The first bit of 'promo' I did with them was with Frank for a Kerrang! 'Pub Talk' feature, an informal 'shoot-the-breeze' one-pager at the back of the magazine. All I had to do is find a pub, make sure Frank, journo and photographer were there at the time I set, introduce them, make sure the journo and snapper get what they want, and then come back to the office. Oh, and also buy all the drinks. I was so fucking nervous. During the weird and bizarre interview, the subject turns to who Frank would most dislike to be stuck in a lift with. Frank starts slagging off Lars Ulrich, or was it James Hetfield - anyway, one of them and he turns round to me, all worried and says: "oops can I say that or will I get in trouble?". I had no fucking idea so just shrugged I think and said "go for it." but in my head I saw law suits and public apologies and me being sacked by my boss. In the end it came out really well and I remember when I first saw it I was like: "wow, look what I did!" Obviously, I didn't do that much except make sure it happened but I felt all good about it and really pleased. Needless to say, me and Frank stayed in the pub for a few drinks and I failed to go back to the office. He seemed really nice and I thought how lucky I was to be working with them.
After that I was busy sorting out album reviews, and guest list, invites, and reviews for their album launch party. I've been pretty much doing that kind of thing ever since. But the more I worked with them, the more I got to know them and the more involved I became. Especially when they signed properly to Xtra Mile, the record label we have here who Reuben are signed to - I started doing advertising, marketing etc as well as all the press - so safe to say that over the last 2 years I've worked really closely with them. But more importantly they've become good friends. Without Million Dead there would be no Dani and Evan!!! I KNOW!!!!
Anyway - at the risk of sounding like a cunt, I feel like I've learnt my trade so far with Million Dead. They've been a massive part of my life for over 2 years and I'll miss them terribly.
I wish them all the best with everything they now go on to do - and anything I can do to help - it'd be a pleasure.

*sniff sniff*



Oh who am I kidding - they're a bunch of wankers really....
;0)

"Lets all go hand in hand..."

So, I didn't get Tommy Lee's press :0( but to be fair I think its a blessing in disguise as, well quite frankly, the solo album is utter shite. It would have been huge amounts of fun - hanging out with Tommy Lee and feeling kinda important but he was reluctant to come over and promote the album release in the UK and so without that, and the guaranteed negative album reviews that only an album as shit as this would receive - I'm better outta there!

Shame though - quite fancied a bit of that......*ahem*

Anyway, since I last wrote, I've moved out of my flat and into Evan's, seen The Misfits, been to Belfast and back and acquired a kitten!!!!!! And let me tell you - the kitten fucking rules. So small, so cute, sooooo cat like.

LOOK!!

Has anything ever been so cute before? I doubt it.

Its been a week of two exceptionally embarrassing incidents that even now - when I think about them I blush. I'm blushing now.
1) I took last Friday off to pack up my flat into boxes and get ready to move. I had a shower and ambled into the kitchen naked except for a towel on my head to make a coffee. I really like wandering around naked. Its just comfortable. And as I was on my own I didn't think anything of it. Anyway standing gazing out the window into the distance waiting for the kettle to boil when suddenly out of absolutely nowhere my landlord (a bit of ladies man as it is) popped up on the otherside of the window. He'd come round to cut back the overgrown bush that was taking over the kitchen window. Cue hilarious overgrown bush joke... For a split second I froze and just stood there - our eyes locked in horror. I then ducked and without thinking and acting completely on impulse I ran out the door which is opposite the window and into my bedroom without putting the towel around my body and the only thing I could hear as I ran out, showing my pale white ass wobbling around was: "oops sorry!!!"
I could have died.
2) Flying to Belfast - with the photographer Scarlet Page (Jimmy Page's daughter) and her assistant who I had never met before to do a photo session with my new band The Answer. We check in and everything is fine and continue to the x-ray and search bit. Scarlet goes through, doesn't beep, her bags are fine. Her assistant goes through, beeps cos of her body jewelry but her bags are fine and the two of them wait for me to go through. My bags go on the x-ray thing and I walk through the metal detector and nothing beeps. I go to pick my bags up but they say: "We've found some items in your bag that we cannot allow on the plane." He pulls outs a load of nails from the side pocket that Evan had so sweetly unscrewed from my book shelves and gave me a disapproving look. I explained that I had recently moved and forgot they were there. He seemed to believe me and said: "Ok well we'll have to take them out and search your bag again." He then begins to unzip the main part of my bag and its at that point I remembered that snuggled up inside on top of my red hoodie was my little cuddly yellow bear; Cuddles. He pulled him out and swabbed him in case I had stored anything in him and put him in a tray to be x-rayed.
This little yellow bear - perpetual grin and all - going through on a conveyer belt on his own whilst I stand there mortified and with Scarlet and Gem not knowing me well enough to laugh, stood aghast. You kinda have to know what Cuddles looks like to get the real humour in this. I've had him for 28 years and I still laugh at him. THATS how funny he looks.
So humiliating.